I am starting to comprehend that I have ABSOLUTELY NO SAY in how long this grieving process is going to take, and trust me, for an Aries that is no small feat to accept. But Mom, or Creator, or both, are bound and determined that I learn this lesson.
Some days, I think I’m okay. As much as I hate the idea of her gone, it seems a fact that I am resigned to, and the day goes on and I laugh, and love, and live.
On other days … like today, I can almost describe the shape of my grief to you, as if it occupied a tangible form. On days like today, it is all too real. It is HUGE. It encompasses my entire being, and all I can do is shake my head and cry in disbelief.
I struggle to find reasons why I am still grieving. Perhaps a trip home and a sweat are required. According to my traditions, for one year you grieve, then, when the year is done, you put on your dress and you dance, and you begin to live again. The Elders tell us “ENOUGH, it is time to live!”
Is that it? Is it time to put on my dress again?
It is all so confusing. I want to stop hurting, I want to stop feeling so out of control. Yet, at the same time, I feel that if I stop crying, I will lose the only thing left of you. I can do this. I know I can.
But Creator, sometimes I just don’t know how.
I love you!
HUGSSSSSSSS
Sandi
I have done a couple videos on this book, prior to reading it, and I promised I would review it once I was done. WELL, NOW I AM DONE and OMG! Here is why you NEED to read this book if you are in the habit of speaking to other human beings. Let’s talk […]
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